Okay yes, title of this post was inspired by the movie Tangled, but moving on..
The thing about life is we’re all waiting for something. Some are waiting for a beginning, others are waiting for an ending, but we’re all waiting and that’s the problem. A few weeks ago I took a step back and looked at everything and I realised how much waiting I’ve actually been doing, and the living to waiting ratio was not what it should have been. I realised that I wasn’t living at all. I was allowing everyone else to make my decisions and hardly ever made my own.
After this realisation I was so disappointed in myself. It defied everything I stand for, which is individuality and self-empowerment. What I was doing was exactly the opposite and that is just plain sad. I realised a lot of my life was a façade, something I talked myself into because I thought it was for the best when in actual fact it wasn’t at all. I was infatuated with a life that wasn’t mine. As I thought more about it I realised that it wasn’t everyone and everything else that was fake, it was me.
I spent an entire night just lying there with my mind racing. Thoughts and more realisations were stumbling over each other and it was scary and I will admit I had more than a few tears in my eyes. Everything I knew was a lie and it was all me. I realised why I wasn’t happy and that’s when I made the official decision to be exactly who I am. Someone who makes my own decisions for my happiness, because in the end it’s my life and I’m the one who has to live it the way I choose. If I choose to let someone else define how I feel about something then that’s not me being faithful and honest with myself and I could not carry on living like that. So I began being honest with myself and as cliché as it sounds I truly started following what my heart was telling me. I started letting go of whatever issues I had with anyone and started cutting all the negative thinking out. For once in my life I was finally thinking about myself and I finally felt free.
That trapped feeling I had inside suddenly disappeared and I could finally be myself and I have never truly been this happy.